some things are better shaven..

Now now now.. before anyone says I am a sadistic father, let me tell you son, that shaving your head hurts me more than it hurts you (certainly hurt my pocket!!).

We have decided to shave Ethan's head to "cool off".. nah.. just joking.. we did it for strong sentimental reasons.. (not forgetting hygenic reasons.. psst.. he has been dropping a lot of hair and has a bad case of dandruff..) mainly, because we can save his infant hair and make it into chinese brushes (mao bi).

I tell you, this is a good business. for those of you that ha been lazying at home without a job! Get a life! or even better, get a job! learn how to shave a baby's head.. this is a specialise skill ok.. but more importantly, if i can cough out S$236 just to do some mao-bi for my kid, you probably can make me cough out the same amount to you too if you know how to do it!

How does the mao-bi looks like? well, when i get it 4weeks later, i'll tell you.. in the meantime, let me share with you how handsome a bald infant looks like..

Ethan, sleep beside Maureen as she tries to catch up with her lost sleep. Ethan wakes up very punctually. It used to be every 4 hours (when he was in the hospital), and then every 3 hours (when he just came home), and now ever 2.5 hours. Everytime he wakes, he wants his milk. Nothing wrong. This shows he is going. We're happy. We have therefore to take turns to care for him. Grow baby! We love you!

What can an expectant father expect on the D-day?

Honestly, you can prepare as much as you like; but when the D-day (or delivery day) comes; it is definitely a different experience. So here's some 3 tips for all you new dads out there:

1. Remember to bring sets of clean underwears and most importantly a pair of slippers! I made the mistake of preparing for my wife, my kid, my car (filled it up with plenty of petrol), my pocket (withdrew enough money and sourced out where to get my daily New Paper), but not for myself! I FORGOT MY UNDIES! okok, there is nothing to be proud of... fortunately mom is around.. Thanks mom! And yes! those are my boxer shorts, not highly ventilated shorts... Also, I was wearing my weekend shoes. MISTAKE! Your feet will stink to kingdom come (and probably incur the wrath of the hospital staff for attracting the flys). I was barefooted most of the time (which means dirty soles).
2. Get someone from the family to drive you car back. Believe me, you may assume you will have time to go back home and take a shower, watch a couple of football matches, and maybe even have a couple of beers with you buddies whom you have not seen for a day. WRONG! See, your family job scope has suddenly increased when your kid comes out. Now you are the errand boy, the go-get-the-baby-from-the-nursery guy, the quick-get-the-nurse guy, the talk-to-the-doctor guy, the entertain-all-the relatives-and-friends guy; while at the same time, you are thinking (hmm, i wonder when would mom get here with my boxer shorts?). So trust me, you car will be sitting in the carpark, while Wilson Parking will happily collect your 3-day parking fees (or $10 a day, which is enough money to buy 1 months worth of New Paper; plus a couple of beer!)
3. Sleep as much as you can before the baby arrives. Now I know it is going to be tough to miss your weekend live football but trust me; you will sell your TV without hesitation if you buy time for some sleep. Remember guard duty? Imagine guard duties for 3 days in a row (plus maybe a 24 klick walk from your room to the nursery, back and forth; and no new undies for a day, while you are hoping seriously for new undies tomorrow). I am barely alive when Ethan's doc, Dr Wong, did her rounds in the morning at 7am. Our conversation went something like this:

dr: good morning!
me: zzzzzz......
dr: i said GOOD MORNING!
me: huh?.. who are you?
dr: i see mommy is doing well! that's good.. i am here to tell you your kid has G6PD...
....... (after 10 minutes)
me: huh?.. what time is it?

So how do i summarise my 3 day stay in the hospital.. ermm... to put it in layman terms.. it felt like my first day in Nee Soon Camp, except I don't need to wash up after food....

Introducing the pacifier...

The latest experiment we are trying out this week is the pacifier. Now for those of you who did not know; as a kid, I was a fan of the pacifier. In fact, I loved my pacifier and feeding bottle that I was suddenly weaned off at the tender age of 5 (i think). If my memory serves me correct, my affair with my feeding bottle (and therefore my pacifier) ended abruptly. The relationship was not to be as Auntie Jessie took me and my beloved bottle to the dustbin, tore us apart, and flung my precious down the dumpster.

Well, here I am again, giving my kid the pacificer (against the wishes of Grandma! hehe..). So far, the experiment shows that the pacifier really pacifies! hey! This little rascal takes centuries to settle down (I believe by the time I put him to bed, morning has arrived!). Once you pop in the pacifier, hey presto! Peace......

Weli for a start, we are using it only as a last resort measure. A stop gap method; before little Ethan turns red, when he doesn't want to sleep, or when i feel bored. The way he suckles is really cute! Think about it, all the while, when he suckles, he is probably thinking, "Hmm, the milk is coming soon right?"

The honest truth, on the other hand is, the Pacifier is not a magic wand. There had been occasions where the Pacifier simply did not work. (erm. like moments ago. Ethan has been screaming his head off for the last 30 minutes!!). However, with Maureen's smoothing voice, constant patting and ever slight rocking, he is now peacefully sleeping in her arms. So you see, a mother's midas touch is still the best!

Our top 3 baby sites

Perhaps one of the key essentials for any expecting father would be gathering enough facts and information before the arrival of the baby. Yup. Information gathering. And mind you, it is no small feat. And believe me, it is better you do your homework before your kids comes out and kanang kaboh. To help future fathers, and also as a testimony for Ethan, these are our top 3 sites visited:

• www.babycenter.com (Number 1 site)
• www.babyzone.com (Number 2 site)

Let me tell you, whatever you want to know about babies or parenthood can be found on this site. Frankly, nearing the last few days, I log in everyday, surfing through all the forum discussions on C-section, how to induce labour, dillation of the cervix, what to expect, etc. (Point to note: while mothers are generally the ones who are interested and anxious about labour, I think we guys should show a little bit of concern and know what to expect too).

Another interesting point about this site is that you can create your own 9 months calendar on babycenter. Try it; its neat.

Another important aspect of babycenter is that is links to many other buying sites. As such, you can browse for baby clothings, cot, strollers. While you may not buy from it, you will know more about baby accessories.

• www.babynamesworld.com and http://www.babynamesworld.com/meaning_of_Ethan.html (Number 3 site)

Just like any parent, you want to name your kid well. Being traditional, we have already decided that should the baby be a boy, he will have a name starting with "E" and a baby girl will have a name starting with "M".

Do you know, the name "Ethan" has been one of the top 10 most popular names? "Ethan" also means "strong, firm, and constant" It is a biblical name, derived from "Etan" in the bible. His chinese name is another story!

Well, now you know. The trick to using the internet for information is that don't believe everything you hear from the forums; however, certainly, checking up on things you don't know may surprise and impress your wife, so just do it!

Preparing for the arrival! 14th March 2006 3pm

This is Maureen before the operation. We were at the hospital hours before. They assigned us a double room as all the single rooms were occupied. Maureen even had time to finish her knitting!She was very calm and relax. She dressed up for the upcoming op at 3pm, waiting to be wheeled in at 3.30pm

I'm going to be a daddy? 4pm

I am going to be a daddy?!? Can you tell the difference? Ha! Before the operation, I was relaxed, having my lunch with ease. However, while waiting outside the operation theatre, it dawns upon me that the 2 most important people in my life is in the operating theatre.. I was very nervous and was praying constantly for a smooth and safe delivery. There was another couple (old man and woman) waiting with worried faces. Made me more worried too. Fortunately Yvonne came; I calmed down. Well, anyway there was nothing much I can do be anticipate the change of my status.. welcome fatherhood! Its gonna be a adventurous joy ride!!

Ethan has arrived 4:24pm

Ethan Tham has arrived. Wow! Daddy was bursting with anticipation when the nurse wheeled him out. "Is that mine?" "Yes!' Finally!" With tears in his eyes, this was the first time i met my son. Hello! Don't be sad you left mommy's womb. We are here to love you too! For all you future daddies out there; it is really an experience when you see your kid for the first time. For 9 months, you keep wondering how he/she looks like; well surprise! he/she looks like any new born. Myth 2: can you tell if he looks like you? The answer: no! ha. Ethan was puffy. So don't expect to be able to tell immediately. Let the nurse clean him up; enjoy the first time you see him. It will probably take 1-2 days before you can say; hmm yes, he has my eyes, and mommy's ears.

Mount Alvernia Hospital! I strongly recommend to any expecting parents!

Sister Christine, a family friend, was also part of the Mount Alvernia staff. She was around to give comfort to Maureen, which I think was a blessing. Thank You Sister Christine! THOUGHTS: For all you new parents out there (and I am also referring to my younger cousins who will become parents in the future), choose the hospital you want carefully based on your needs. We chose Mt.Alvernia because of our religious beliefs but also the nurses are DEFINITELY CARING AND FRIENDLY! Really. Imagine in the middle of the night and you have engorged breasts!! Ladies, it is no fun! Our experience at Our Lady's Ward was great! Be it when we needed help, or bring us more water or towels, or just simply someone to talk to or ask questions, the nurses were there, especially those that worked the graveyard shifts. There were breastfeeding classes, how to bath the baby classes, etc. More importantly, as Ethan needed to stay at the hospital longer, the nurses would let us use the nursing room without hesitations, let us use the hospital breast pumps for free. Mt. Alvernia has this close/family feel to it. It may not look like a 4-star hotel (like Mt Elizabeth) but we definitely felt comfortable and at ease.

Family visit

Everyone were excited about Ethan. Maureen while still on drip, managed to have some quiet time with her precious. Imagine Ethan in her womb. He is huge! Can't blame Mauren to complaining about back pain. If it was me, I would have been bed ridden for months before delivery! Day 1 was a very rewarding day for Maureen and I. Finally, we get to see our son in person. Hello! While the next 2 days in the hospital was extremely tiring for us, waking up every 3 hours just to breastfeed the little one, more so for Maureen, we were glad we got through it.

Unfortunately, due to jaundice, we had precious moments with him before he had to go back to the nursery for light treatment. Oh I forgot to tell you guys, Ethan is G6PD. What is it? Well, he does not have certain enzymes in his system. It is genetic. Imagine our horror when they informed us early in the morning (day 2) at 7am. In our semi-awake state, Dr Wong told us about it. Why! How!?! Questions came to me, slowly; but I was too tired to ask. It is ok lah. Now, we know what it is and how to deal with it.

First visitors

Yi-yi (auntie) Marina was our first visitor! Followed by David and Xiao-Ching and then GrandUncle Teo and Grand Auntie Jessie. We are touch by their concern and love. Thank you!

Day 1 was a very rewarding day for Maureen and I. Finally, we get to see our son in person. Hello! While the next 2 days in the hospital was extremely tiring for us, waking up every 3 hours just to breastfeed the little one, more so for Maureen, we were glad we got through it. 

Grandma-auntie is also happy. not forgetting that all of us visits him after dinner every night. That makes him awfully popular.. haha.. 

OK, no prizes for guessing that everyone was happy! judging from that grin on Grandpa's face, i can safely say he is delighted. According to Grandpa, he is uncomfortable carrying a new born. Can tell lah, from his stiff posture. ha! 

Mommy Maureen and Ethan in the nursing room. Maureen still looks weak in this picture as we had only discharged from the hospital 1 day ago. Not forgetting she just underwent a C-section not long ago, it is no easy feat staying awake every night expressing milk for the little one. That's the power of motherhood i guess. i was impress! 

This was taken when Ethan was still warded in the hospital. Almost every evening, we would visit Ethan. Fortunately, Mount Alvernia Hospital has a nursing room; so that we can spend time with Ethan in privacy. Grandma will feed him while Maureen will express out milk for the next feed. We did this for 5 days. 

This is Ethan's 1st toy. It plays 3 songs and a recording of Maureen's voice, "Ethan, mommy calling you, wake up wake up wake up!" We used to play the songs while Ethan was in Maureen's womb. Now, he simply stares at this toy when we play the songs! ha! 

Grandma & Ethan 

Oh, behave yourself auntie Genelle! 

the eldest and the youngest.. great-grandma and Ethan 

from left to right: grandma, maureen, auntie (kim-kim), and a peacefully asleep Ethan. 

here Ethan is enjoying his breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, supper... 

Ethan always enjoys his meals. No complains. Happily drinking his milk. Slurp, slurp...  

Here's look at you! 

here's a chubby version. Wearing a hat. 

Ethan, our son!

I guess this is a way to share some of my inner thoughts with friends and family. For those of you whom assume having a kid does not change your lifestyle! YOU R DEAD WRONG! ha! This blog, in a way, and i hope, will document some of these changes; the pleasure and pain, and sleepless nights (tonight, being one of them). Having a baby really changes a man; but before we get mushy; i like to approach this whole topic of fatherhood from a more logical and scientific point of view. I guess, Ethan is like this huge experiment, a test for both Maureen and I. And honestly, I am enjoying every single minute of it! You bet!